


(i remember it) all too well

by borrowedthemoonlite



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Exes to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, I'm so sorry, Post-Canon, Retrospective, Song: All Too Well (Taylor Swift), Time Skips, based off of all too well :), post-college, thank you taylor swift for your service to the bade community, time capsule
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:53:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27518677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borrowedthemoonlite/pseuds/borrowedthemoonlite
Summary: You told me about your past, thinking your future was me. || Beck and Jade's time capsule is dug up five years after their breakup.
Relationships: Beck Oliver/Jade West
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	(i remember it) all too well

Beck unlocked the door to his apartment, hanging up the bag he’d had ever since freshman year of college on the hook mounted to the wall. He shrugged off his jacket and tossed his keys onto the side table next to the door. It was getting late but he couldn’t bring himself to start dinner just yet and resigned to giving himself an hour to watch tv and unwind before he’d force himself up.

Two hours into Grey’s Anatomy and he still hadn’t started. Served him right for expecting himself to self-govern. But he’d had a productive day overall, he could afford some leisure.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his back pocket. His younger sister, Sophie.

He blinked in confusion, she never called, she had always been a texter.

“Hey, what’s up?” He greeted, resting his phone between his head and shoulder. “You never call me, is everything-”

“Hey, dweeb, some girls found your time capsule.” Sophie interrupted, “We got it in the mail today.”

“What?” He asked absent-mindedly, his brow furrowing.

“Come on, even _I_ remember this.” She scolded, “You and Jade buried it in the backyard of her house.”

He searched his mind further, the confusion settling deeper on his face. And then it hit him, the memory of the thrifted chest and burying it near the big oak tree in Jade’s mom’s backyard.

“Oh my god, I totally forgot about that!” He exclaimed in wonder, the pieces coming together, “It has to have been like, what? 8 years? We buried it in like, _senior year_ … Of _high school._ ”

“Well, in your time capsule, you guys left a note and you said whoever found it should mail it to the house. And that’s what happened. Mom and Dad told me to tell you to come pick it up, it's just sitting here.”

He sputtered in awe, the impact of the memory hitting him suddenly. He couldn’t believe he had just forgotten about their time capsule like that.

“Okay, yeah, I’ll definitely come and get it this week.” He answered, “Damn, I can’t believe someone found it, that’s incredible!”

There was a muffled sound from the other end, Sophie seemed to whisper back, _‘What? No,_ you _can tell him that, I did what I needed to- Ugh_ fine. _’_

“Oh, uh.” She seemingly raised the phone to her ear again, “And mom says you should let Jade know too. She says it’s rude not to.”

His stomach twisted sickly at the thought. He hadn’t heard from Jade in ages, or spoken to her for that matter.

Despite the precedent they had set for themselves in high school, their actual and final breakup had been a clean split. It had been halfway through their junior year of college and they had started to feel like they were just too busy to handle a long-distance relationship, and a high school one for that matter. He remembered that one day they had both come to the conclusion that it was the logical decision. Of course, logical was not the word to describe either Beck or Jade, but at the time, they felt it in the air weeks before they had even agreed on it. That was probably how he knew it was final. The way it had been calm, no harshly spat words, no venom, no frustrated tears until they had gone their separate ways and left in their cars. Actually, he’s pretty sure the first time it really sank in was packing up the things she had left in his apartment into a cardboard box to send back. 

He didn’t believe in ‘the one that got away,’ or anything, but something about the way he and Jade ended up felt incomplete.

But his mom wasn’t _wrong,_ Jade probably _would_ want to know that their time capsule was returned. After all, he was pretty sure that she was the one who added the note.

So he knew what he had to do, he had to call her and let her know.

If only he could work up the nerve.

* * *

Jade stepped out of her car and tucked her binder under her arm, stepping onto the sidewalk and making her way towards the studio. Her dress pocket buzzed with a notification and without looking, she picked up.

“Hello?”

“Jade! Hey.” A breathless voice sounded from the other end.

She froze in place. She hadn’t heard that voice in forever.

“Beck?” She asked, incredulously.

“Yeah, hey. This is super out of the blue, I know,” he explained. “But Sophie called last night and… God, it still doesn’t feel real. Uh, our time capsule was found, they sent it back to my parents’ place.”

“No way, you’re shitting me.” She answered, feeling completely floored. “If you’re messing with me you have to tell me now.”

If it had been under any other circumstances, the conversation would probably be more awkward, despite the amicable split. Hearing from an ex after forever wasn’t really the easiest thing to happen, but the shock over finding the time capsule outweighed any underlying difficulty that might have come.

“I’m not, promise! I almost forgot about it until yesterday. But it got found by whoever moved into your mom’s house after she moved out. And my mom told me to go pick it up, but she wanted me to let you know so you could go through it too.”

“Oh my god, _yeah,_ of _course_ I want to see it. When are you going?”

“Are you good for this Saturday? I know it’s kinda short notice and that two days isn’t really that much time but-”

“No, I’ll be there. Promise.” She said solemnly, “Are your parents still at the same house?”

“Yeah, they are.” He said, taken aback.

“Okay, I’ll be there.” She rushed out, the adrenaline still rushing through her.

“Great. I’ll see you there,” he replied warmly, dropping the line.

Her heart pounded as she put her phone back in her pocket. It had all happened too fast. If her heart wasn’t currently trying to beat itself out of her chest she’d never believe that it happened. It wasn’t _unwanted,_ but it was definitely strange. She always knew that she’d see Beck again, it was bound to happen eventually. But she didn’t think it would be under circumstances like this. She’d be a liar if she said she wasn’t excited to uncover whatever they had buried, though. She barely remembered it, but she knew that whatever was in there would be a representation of a simpler time and if anything it’d serve as a reminder of her growth.

So sure. Why the hell not?

* * *

He pulled into the driveway of his parents’ place and peered out the car window. She wasn’t here yet. Good, more time to brace himself. Or maybe it would’ve been better for her to be here, to stop himself from overthinking and working himself up. No, it would be rude for him to make her wait.

He took out the set of spare keys he still had to the old house and walked up the path to the door, unlocking it.

“Hey! I’m here!” He announced, the greeting echoing through the hall.

“Sup,” Sophie wandered into the room, waving lazily, “the time capsule’s on the dining room table, mom and dad aren’t here right now but picked up tacos, they’re in the kitchen.”

He passed through the dining room, heading straight for the kitchen and narrowly avoiding the time capsule. He couldn’t bring himself to look at it, it would only serve to make him more nervous than he already was, and the last thing he needed to do right now was lose his nerve.

He shouldn’t be nervous, it wasn’t like Jade was a stranger, they were on good terms. Sure they hadn’t spoken since then, but it wasn’t like they _despised_ each other. They still liked each other’s posts occasionally, which yeah, wasn’t necessarily _friendship,_ but they were acquaintances at the very least.

Acquaintances who had made out in high school and college. Acquaintances who had slept together before-

Actually, maybe acquaintances wasn’t the best parallel to their relationship, whatever it may be.

“Oh my god, why do you look _scared?”_ Sophie chided, “It’s a box, Beck. It’s a _box_ that you buried with your ex-girlfriend when you were 17. You’ll be fine.”

He rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore her and scroll mindlessly through his phone instead. It was taking everything in him to stop himself from opening the time capsule right then and there, just to find out what was in there. It was killing him, the fact that there was something so _significant_ only a room away and he couldn’t remember what was inside.

He could do this, they had gone to high school together, and if they made it through actual, living hell, they could get through a time capsule opening.

* * *

Jade rang the doorbell, waiting on the front doorstep. Luckily Beck was already here, she saw his car in the driveway. She looked around, not much had changed since the last time she had visited. Surprisingly, the RV was still parked in the front yard, though she supposed she wouldn’t have much of an idea of what to do with an unoccupied RV either.

The door cracked open and Beck’s sister popped her head out.

“Hey! Jade! Beck’s already here, come in.” Sophie stepped aside, holding the door open for her.

She found herself taking a bracing breath walking through the front door. She had been here at least a hundred times, she had prepared herself before she had left and sworn she wouldn’t let herself get too into her head, but it was easy to make promises pre-experience, wasn’t it? There was quite a marginal difference, she realized, between saying she wouldn’t get nervous and actually being here. Unwelcome jitters crawled through her stomach in some sort of sick twist of fate.

God, it was almost pathetic how jittery she felt. Nice going on her part, the girl who was known for being an ice-cold, stone-hearted bitch in high school was suddenly putty in the house of her ex-boyfriend as a grown woman.

Even though Beck had been moved into the RV for most of the time she had dated him, it wasn’t like they _never_ went into the actual house itself.

The pictures on the front table were still there, of course, a few new additions had popped up since then, but she still recognized most of them. Her eyes took a quick swipe over the frames, coming to a halt as they reached one that felt familiar.

She reached out, taking it in her hand and pulling it aside to look at it closer.

It was a photo of them taken from their high school graduation. There they were clad in their robes, looking just like she remembered them, facing each other, expressions of pure ecstasy on their faces and a sparkle of _something_ in their eyes. Even though she can’t remember everything from that day, the feelings she felt that day were revived for the shortest moment. The way she felt like she was invincible. That her life had reached a peak. That life would be smooth sailing from then.

“I always liked that one,” Beck said, suddenly materializing next to her. 

He looked different. Not unfamiliar, just _different._ She still recognized him as the same Beck she had always known, but the time lost between them was not lost on her. There was something… stronger about his face. It was the jaw she suspected. Or the cheekbones, maybe? Could’ve even been his arms, what did she know? His eyes were the same though, she’d always be able to pick them out of a lineup. No matter how much time had passed, she was certain that she’d always recognize the warm brown that swallowed you alive, wrapped you in security, and brought you back to Earth. They had always been her favorite part of him, as she had decided years and years ago. And how could anyone blame her for falling for anything so beautiful?

She took a moment to mask the surprise on her face and clear her head before turning to look at him, “I didn’t know you had this,” she said casually. “Actually, I didn’t know this picture even existed. I didn’t realize anyone was watching us.” 

She placed the photo back down and smoothed her skirt down, straightening up to meet his eye properly.

“So,” she started. “It’s been a while.”

“That it has.” He nodded almost as stiffly as she felt. “Uh. You look good.”

His eyes swept over her face, like he was trying to take all of her in. She could tell he was examining her just as she had done to him. Granted, she’d changed significantly more than he had.

“Not doing too bad yourself, Oliver.” She gave herself a boost of false confidence, smirking.

She knew they wouldn’t be getting anywhere soon if they carried on like this. So, she took initiative, just as she was known for.

“Right then. I believe we have a time capsule to look at?” She raised a brow, looking at him expectantly.

“Oh! Right, it’s in the dining room.” He motioned for her to follow him.

The chest sat on the table, a freshly written note taped to the top of it. She remembered the day they had found it, one of the only things she remembered about the time capsule. She had come up with the idea of a time capsule and had forced him to take them to a thrift store to find a box for it.

It was a redwood steamer trunk with a simple latch in the front. There had been another one, a black treasure chest looking thing with a lock in the front. It had been Beck’s top choice, _‘for the aesthetics,’_ he said, but Jade had swayed him against it (the key was too easy to lose and what would they do then? They didn’t want to lose all their memories, now did they?)

She reached out, running a finger over the clamp. It would be so easy to just open it and see what was inside, what her 17-year-old self had deemed so important that it needed to be locked away with the kind of tenderness that only came with teenage romance. Not that she was a particularly tender person, but there was a solace that she was afforded then that had become something of a rarity as of late. But something stopped her before she could. It was a simple movement, it wasn’t goddamn rocket science to just flick a finger upward and flip open a hinge.

But she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. So instead, she grabbed the envelope taped to the top, _‘For Beck and Jade,’_ written in unfamiliar handwriting.

“What is this?” She asked, turning it over in her hand.

“The people who found it wrote us something,” he explained. “Before they mailed it, I mean.”

“Do we open it now?” She absent-mindedly toyed with the flap in contemplation.

“Up to you,” he shrugged, signaling for her to take the lead.

She shrugged in response and swiped her nail under the flap, carving it open. Opening the box was still far too intimidating, maybe reading the note would give her the chance to bolster her grit. 

“Well, here goes nothing,” she announced, taking a deep breath as she started to read. “ _‘Beck and Jade,’_ ”

_‘Hi! We hope you guys are doing well! My name is Crista, me and my sister Steph found your time capsule while we were planting some fuchsias in the backyard. We hope you don’t mind but we took a look through some of the stuff in here. Everything seems so special and even though I don’t know the story behind them, I can tell that they meant a lot to you guys._

_‘I hope everything worked out between you two but if not, I hope you’re still on good terms. I have no idea if we’re mailing this to the right address or if one of you still lives here, but I hope it gets to you somehow._

_‘I’m sure you don’t need a super long note and that you’re all ready to get to the actual stuff inside here, so I’ll keep this short. Finding this time capsule was really cool and I’m glad you guys did something like this. Thank you for sharing your hearts with us._

_‘- Crista and Steph.’_

If it hadn’t already hit her, it would finally be sinking in right about now. Someone _actually_ found their time capsule and it was sitting right in front of them, a relic of who they used to be.

“Well shit.” He rushed out, “I don’t know if that made me really happy or really sad…”

She shallowly nodded in agreement, her thoughts exactly. But she decided to do her best to seem unaffected. “Well? Let’s open it then.”

“We should probably take it outside. It kinda looks messy and I don’t really want to make a mess in a house I don’t live in.” He proposed, lifting it from the table and making his way back out the front door.

They both stared down at the capsule sitting in the grass, unsure of what the next move was.

“Would you do the honors?” He gestured to the box, breaking the tense, short-lived silence.

She didn’t really think she had a reason to say no, so of course she said she would.

She crouched next to the box, taking a deep breath. She flipped open the latch and tossed the lid open.

There was way more stuff in here than she remembered them even owning. If she was completely honest, she had been expecting to find an underwhelming array of objects randomly tossed into the box. But here everything was, an amalgamation of her best memories from one of the most formative points of her life. 17-year-old Jade would have killed present-day Jade if she ever found out that she had forgotten about more than half of these things. But luckily for her, 17-year-old Jade wasn’t her anymore and her life would be spared.

Beck knelt beside her, looking just as shocked as she was. Slowly, he extended a hand and drew something out from the top of the pile. She watched careful-eyed as he uncovered an old sweatshirt from UCLA.

Neither of them had gone there, she wasn’t particularly sure where they got it. He eyed it with a cautious brow, “Was this yours?”

“I don’t think so…” She trailed off.

Beck returned to the box, rummaging through it once again, a look of triumph flooding over him as he pulled out a polaroid.

“You’re wearing it in this,” he passed it to her. 

She had forgotten about her polaroid camera. Junior and Senior year of high school she had carried around a camera with her, hellbent on making sure that anything good that happened to her got captured. This one was a picture of her and Beck. If she had to guess, she’d say that this was taken by Cat. 

It was a warm night on the beach, a vibrant summer sunset setting behind them. She was wrapped in the aforementioned UCLA sweatshirt, looking over her shoulder up at Beck, who stood behind her with his arms wrapped around her. Neither of them was looking at the camera, they were too busy looking at each other. He was whispering something into her ear and based on her expression it was one of the funniest things she had heard in her life. But he had always had that effect on her, she remembered. 

A memory began to reform in her head and the realization struck her. “This was yours then!” She exclaimed, nudging his shoulder. He looked over at her peculiarly. “Remember? We took a campus tour at UCLA, _you_ bought this. That’s why I’m wearing it in the picture. I _never_ wore those things unless they were yours, Beck.”

He seemed to vaguely recall the day as well, slowly but surely.

“And then we ditched early to get food?” He laughed, the memory coming back to him.

She laughed lightly as she began to dig through the box again. In the upper left corner, she found a CD in a hard case labeled _‘San Diego Trip,’_ their initials surrounded by a heart in handwriting she recognized as Beck’s.

Her eyes brightened immediately recognizing it, “Well at least I remember this one.” She muttered, “we should listen to it again one of these days. It was a good one.” Or at least, it was good from what she remembered.

He leaned over, getting a better look at the cover. His eyes widened with familiarity and he broke out into a wide smile. She’d be lying if she said there wasn’t an underlying tension? awkwardness? currently consuming them. But it wasn’t like that was unexpected, it had been close to a decade of lost time between them.

It was a little funny though, she thought. How before they dated, she would ache with the hope that _maybe_ he liked her back, that he felt the same, and now she was desperate for them to be back on the same path.

“Oh my _god,_ no way! I thought we lost that, turns out it was here the entire time!” He said excitedly, opening the case as if to check if the CD was actually there.

“That was a good trip,” she said suddenly feeling shy, her heart warming at the memory. “Do you remember that day?”

“Of course, how could I forget?” He laughed, “It was almost my first misdemeanor, that doesn’t happen every day, you know.”

* * *

They’d taken a day trip to San Diego the summer they both got their licenses, it was only fitting to celebrate the newly given freedom to drive by driving any and everywhere they could. Although, ‘day trip’ was a rather loose term for it. The trip had bled into midnight with ease. Furthermore, technically they legally weren’t allowed to be driving past 11 or to have passengers under the age of 20, but neither of them was a stickler for the rules as they were. Which was how they ended up pretty much rushing down a San Diego street at 12 am, their prized CD made just for the trip in the console. But it was a coastal town, they’d be fine as far as she was concerned.

Beck was behind the wheel that round as she had driven them there that morning. She had convinced him to put the top of the car down and let them feel the open air. The warm ocean wind surrounding them had felt like a dream, and she raised her arms high above her head, letting it swirl around her as she got lost in the music.

As she came back to Earth, she noticed Beck watching her, a smile placed contentedly on his lips.

“What?” She asked coyly, reaching to lace their fingers together, hands resting on the center console.

“Nothing,” he replied, uncharacteristically shy, a faint blush creeping up his neck, she probably would’ve missed it if she wasn’t focused so intently on _everything_ Beck at the moment.

“Come on. _What?_ Spit it out.” She urged, squeezing his hand firmly and grinning in anticipation.

He ceded, straightening in his seat to look at her more earnestly. “Well I just think you look really pretty right now.”

She bit her lip, rolling her eyes in embarrassment. “You’re so cheesy,” she groaned, though the apparent laugh playing on her lips betrayed her own words.

“You asked!” He defended, holding back his own laugh. “I told you it was nothing, you should’ve taken the chance to escape it when you had it!”

Her head rolled back in mock-exasperation, the groan echoing through the busy street. He was only the best kind of insufferable, she decided, the kind that she could never get sick of.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a glimpse of red and immediately straightened up. His face contorted in concern at the sudden change of behavior from her.

“Shit! You’re gonna run the red!” She hissed, hitting his shoulder in panic.

He snapped to awareness, slamming on the brakes. The car jerked forward before grinding to a halt. They both let out matching sighs of relief as the cars on the other street began to move.

After a minute of tense shock, she broke out into a fit of laughs. She couldn’t help herself, maybe it was the shock, maybe it was the way this could have ended terribly, maybe it was the way nothing felt real, but if she was being honest, it didn’t completely matter to her. He soon followed suit, laughing along with her. She leaned over the compartment, kissing him soundly, her hand coming up to cup his jaw.

She broke off after a moment, settling in her seat. He looked at her sadly, as if it had ended far too soon. 

“Believe me, I’d love to keep this going right now, but you better get back to paying attention before you run a red for real this time.” She smirked, taking his hand in hers once again and planting a kiss on the top of their intertwined fingers.

* * *

Beck watched as Jade turned the CD over in her hands. He didn’t remember what songs were on that disc, but it was just one of those nights. The kind that you never forget no matter how much time goes by. Even if they weren’t opening the time capsule right here, right now and all these items were lost to time itself, he knew he’d still remember it, even if it was just the way that night made him feel, it would still live on in his mind.

She had a content look on her face, lost deep in thought as she reminisced on that night. “Maybe I should’ve let you run the red,” she smirked, “then it would be your actual first misdemeanor. Makes it more special, don’t you think?”

He let out a short laugh, “Yeah. Maybe you should have…”

She held out the CD in offering, “I’m pretty sure you made this one, the writing’s yours… So I think it’s only fair that you keep it.”

He considered taking it but something in him told him not to, that it belonged with her. He’d always remember that night, maybe she’d want a reminder of it too.

“Actually, I _did_ make that for you, so, no, I think the honor’s all yours,” he insisted.

Jade eyed him carefully, as if she was trying to figure him out, before conceding and tucking the disc away in her bag. And if he thought about it, the UCLA sweatshirt definitely wouldn’t fit him anymore, but it _would_ fit her. But he didn’t offer it up, that would be crossing a line, he thought. A CD was a CD regardless, but they weren’t dating anymore, it would probably be weird.

“Okay then, Beck. It’s your move,” she nodded towards the chest, motioning for him to take the next thing.

He scanned through the objects, his eyes locking in on a photo, another polaroid, but one that he didn’t seem to immediately recognize.

It was clearly taken from the inside of the house, in the living room. They were sitting on the couch, her legs draped over his lap, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, his around her waist. Her cheek was pressed against his shoulder as they held each other close. If he had to guess when it was taken, he’d say around freshman year of college, his hair was a little shorter but the streaks of brown he had put in his senior year of high school were still lingering.

Jade leaned over, a line of concentration forming on her forehead. “I don’t remember this one,” she frowned.

He originally hadn’t either, but he had faintly recalled his older sister taking the picture, and then the entire image fell into place.

“You don’t?” He asked in surprise.

“What, you do?”

“Yeah, I do. It was my birthday,” he feigned offense, giving her an overly-dramatic look of hurt.

She paused, her eyes dropping to peer over at the picture once again, then rising back to him. He couldn’t help but laugh at the immediate look of recognition in her eyes contrasting with the disbelief on the rest of her face

“Don’t laugh at me, you’re supposed to be the nice one here!” She gaped, doing her best to give him what he thought was meant to be a withering look. “I remember now, happy?”

He held up his hands in defense, “We’re talking about _my_ birthday, I’ll cope with you forgetting how I want to,” he retorted.

She took the photo, pointing at it. “But how was I supposed to know? Look at this, it’s just us, half of our pictures were always just us! You can’t expect me to know everything! Obviously I remember your _birthday,_ I just didn’t realize that this was it!”

He knew well enough that Jade was perfectly capable of staying persistent and insisting that it wasn’t her fault, but if he was honest, it didn’t really matter to him. So, he willingly dropped it and conceded that yes, there was no way for her to recognize it immediately from that picture alone.

But he could see her eyes lingering on the photo and couldn’t help but wonder if she remembered that night the same way he did.

* * *

It was a tame birthday in the grand scheme of things. That morning, they had gone for brunch with his family and a couple of friends and then went to the house for dessert. He was sat on the couch, Jade seated next to him, her legs draped over his lap, as she whispered a soft admission in his ear. He ran a thumb over her knee, his other hand around hers. She leaned her head on his shoulder, pressing a kiss where his neck met his collarbone.

“I love you,” he said, ducking his head to whisper in her ear.

“I love you,” she muttered, looking up at him and pressing a quick kiss to his jaw.

It had been hard, having to get used to seeing her less often than he normally had. But they knew it was coming when they moved to college, they were naturally going to be busier, that was all. He was still hopeful for them, though, they weren’t quitters.

Suddenly, his mom came into the living room, carrying a stack of old photo albums, carefully dropping them on the coffee table. Jade quickly straightened up, suddenly aware of the presence of _other_ in the room, but her legs stayed where they were.

His mom began a sermon about how they didn’t look at old pictures enough, and wouldn’t it just be the perfect day to start doing so?

Jade immediately agreed, her eyes lighting up as they roamed over the books on the table. So who was he to take that away from her? Though, with the way she had practically dove towards the table and scooped the albums up, maybe they shouldn’t have given her free roam.

“Your _hair,”_ she gasped, a wide grin on her face as she looked down at the photo, then up at him, then back down and back up in an almost rhythmic fashion. “It was so _short,_ there’s no way you ever actually looked like that.”

“You’ve seen me with short hair before,” he reminded her. “Remember? I showed you those ones from middle school.”

“Yeah, but not _this_ short!” She exclaimed, pointing wildly at the photo in its clear plastic sleeve. “This is a different person. _Completely_ different, it’s freaking me out.”

“I didn’t realize the hair was such a big part of this relationship,” he quipped as she broke out into a fit of laughter, clutching the photo.

She ran a hand through his hair fondly, smiling as she pushed it back. “Oh definitely,” she deadpanned, smirking slightly. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but your hair’s a third party here…”

He sighed in defeat, “No, I get it. I would cheat on me with my hair too,” he nodded, unable to stop himself from laughing.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes at him and flipping the page over. Her eyes widened again, her jaw dropping open as she examined the photo spread.

“Did you use to play hockey?” She asked quietly, her voice trembling on the verge of explosive laughter.

“See, I feel like you’re going to make fun of me even more if I tell you the answer.” 

“So, that’s a yes then?” Her brows raised in amusement, “I can’t believe you’ve never told me this story.”

He supposed she had a point, Jade was never one to pass up on a good story. While he was never particularly good with words and always tried to let his actions speak for him, he would always try his hardest for Jade.

“Well do you want to hear it now? Better late than never,” he shrugged.

She shifted her shoulders, turning her attention to him and placing the book down. “Hit me with it. Tell me everything you’ve never had the chance to before.” 

So he did. That afternoon he spilled every remnant of his soul to her. Anything that she didn’t know by then, she did now. He was right, words weren’t his strong suit. Performing the words of others’ on a stage or in front of a camera, he could do. But his own were often lost. But nevertheless, Jade was patient with him, she listened intently and waited as he struggled to find his words.

He told her everything he could remember that he hadn’t already told her. Though Jade had been part of his life for long enough that it felt like she did know these things, it was weird to think that there was a point in his life where he existed without Jade by his side.

She was just as much his past as she was his future.

They broke up less than two years after that, so maybe he had been wrong. But he couldn’t even force himself to have any regrets about it. For someone as woven into his life as she was, she deserved the full stories, she deserved it all as far as he was concerned.

* * *

Looking at the picture, she remembered how… _loved_ she felt. Not even just that day, just _overall._ Of course, that day had been important to her, she could never forget it

She wasn’t stupid, she knew people hated them at Hollywood Arts, that they were a couple notorious for demanding attention all for themselves. But none of them _really_ knew, did they? None of them felt the way they did, none of them had felt the adoration she felt every time Beck looked at her, none of them were there for any of the moments shared between _just them._

She couldn’t help the crestfallen way her heart ached every time she looked at the version of them in the photo with the knowledge she had now, that they never got their happy ending, that it was taken towards the end of it all, that they let each other go. Part of her wanted to reach through the picture, grab her old self, and scream at her to _never let him go, okay?_ just to prove everyone wrong. They had broken up for good maybe a year and a half after that picture was taken, but part of her just wanted to know what would’ve happened if they had just held strong for a little bit longer.

Part of her was certain that if they had stayed together past junior year, they might still be together now. She couldn’t help but feel that somehow, time had stolen a lifetime from them. They had been something good, she knew that much for sure.

Brushing the bitterly conjured regrets away, she turned her attention back to the capsule, scouring through the mess. At the time of making, shoving any and everything they could find into the box seemed like a good idea, and maybe it was, but at present, Jade couldn’t help but feel like this was a pre-meditated attack from her former self.

She shoved aside a pile of notes that they had scribbled on some loose-leaf paper and secretly passed in classes, they’d get to them later and if she was completely honest, they were the least of her concerns. Knowing her and Beck, they were probably filled with whatever bullshit that had popped into their heads at the time, so forgive her for not wanting to read teenage angst that reeked of high school. Though, she’d probably end up going through a few of the good ones, just to check in on herself.

But regardless, she grabbed the first non-paper object she felt and pulled out a pair of their old necklaces. A bolt on a simple black cord, knotted in place. They’d made them one night, when Jade had gone through his toolbox as he worked on his car. He didn’t need them, so she went raiding through her bag for some thread and went to work. They’d had other necklaces since then, they’d even made different versions of the same one, but she remembered that they had put the originals in the capsule. 

She smiled sadly, dangling it from a finger, remembering how often she used to wear it. It had been a solid staple of her wardrobe for the longest time and she couldn’t remember when she had stopped, but clearly, she had at one point.

“Well?” She asked, holding out the other, “do we put them on again?” 

He smoothly took it from her and slipped it around his neck, shrugging. “You know, I always thought it was a good look on us.”

So she followed suit, sliding it over her head and untucking her hair. She stared at the bolt dangling around his neck. It wasn’t an uncommon sight, but it _had_ been a while, the sight uncanny at most. She wrapped her hand around her necklace, toying with the bolt as Beck went back into the chest searching for something new.

Turned out they had put way more pictures in there than she remembered, which were never unwelcome, but she hadn’t realized they had taken this many.

There were more things that she had almost forgotten, tickets and a program from a play they’d been in, a book from one of their numerous bookstore dates, a script they had worked on together as a group project, a bracelet Jade had made from scraps of his old flannels, a collection of gum wrappers he had sketched mini-portraits of her on, the brown paper sketch she had done of him in return, an empty bottle of hair dye from that time she’d convinced him to let her put an indigo streak in his hair, a pair of letters they had exchanged from when he had visited family in Canada and insisted on writing instead of just texting, a paper airplane with a note scribbled on the wings that she had made, and a mug they had painted at some pottery place (they never decided who should keep it so they put it in the box instead).

Even though they had gone through every single thing in the capsule, the night didn’t feel like it was meant to be over yet. So she asked to listen to the CD instead, offering a simple, “Should we find out what’s on there?”

And maybe it was a lousy excuse to stay, but he didn’t deny her, which is how they end up in the RV again, him kneeling in front of his cabinet, trying to find his player. It was in here somewhere, it was pretty much untouched since he had moved out. Though, he’d made some changes after their break up so she wouldn’t be the most help in finding it. So, she made herself at home and sat on the couch instead, ignoring the urge to go searching through all the new things in there. Though, she supposed they weren’t all too new since he hadn’t lived here in ages.

But he found it eventually and set it up, soon joining her on the couch. She inserted the disc, pressed the close button, and pressed play, waiting anxiously in anticipation.

The RV came back to life as a song she hadn’t heard in years waved through the speakers. At one point it had been their song, not that anyone ever knew that, they’d kept it to themselves, but it was to them and that was what mattered at the end of the day, wasn’t it? 

She looked over at Beck, he had a far off look in his eyes. After an entire afternoon of conversation, she fell speechless, there was something about listening to their old songs that groaned through her bones. It wasn’t sad, no, that wasn’t it, nor was it regret. But she couldn’t quite place it. She knew there was no use in obsessing over the small things, it wasn’t likely that the CD lasted very long, so she pushed it out of her mind and let the music wash over her.

For a moment, it was easy to pretend she was 16 again. Back when her biggest concerns were picking a song for the Full Moon Jam, auditioning for one of the plays, and making sure their short film group projects turned out well. It was an easy time to get lost in, she decided. There was a sense of security and grounding that was so easy to get lost in. Not that she wanted to be one of those people who peaked in high school or whatever. High school was still hell for the most part, but there were still some things that she missed.

She missed the day trips that stretched into nights (they’d get into trouble with their parents afterwards, but it was always worth it, they decided). She missed the hastily drawn sketches that left her hands smudged with pencil lead. She missed knowing someone’s coffee order and having them know hers too. She missed borrowing clothes and feeling like it was more than just clothes. She missed whispering her greatest secrets and deepest thoughts in the dark and feeling like they’d always be safe. She missed bad attempts at learning to skateboard in a mall parking lot.

Or maybe she just missed him. Maybe it wasn’t what she did, it was who she did them with. Maybe part of her knew that just because the pages had been brutally torn out far too early, it didn’t mean that there wasn’t a story left to finish.

They weren’t built to fall apart, that much she knew for sure.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, breaking through the haze that she was getting lost in.

“What?” She frowned, confusion apparent on her face.

“For how we ended things,” he concluded simply, letting out a long sigh.

“We both agreed to break up. It’s on both of us,” she reminded him, still confused.

“I know, I just think- We could’ve- I don’t know what I’m trying to say.” He stammered, his face contorting in frustration. 

Words were never his thing in the first place, she couldn’t ever fault him for that, but she knew he felt as lost as she did.

“It’s okay, I get it,” she nodded, her voice low.

The tense silence that came with the changing of tracks rang through the room, a haunting reminder that everything must come to an end, soon interrupted by the opening notes of the next song.

Hours went by in seconds, or it could’ve been lifetimes for all she knew, the songs passing in rapid succession, coming to a bittersweet close that echoed through her ribs.

And then she had no more excuses to stay. Not any that she could think of at least.

“I guess I should get going then,” she hesitated, sighing with regret.

“Right. It is kinda late, isn’t it?” He stammered, his bubble seeming to have popped too.

“Yeah. It is. And I have to wake up early tomorrow…” She didn’t, her audition was at 4 in the afternoon. But she knew that their time was finally up and that she needed to go before the moment was spoiled. He followed her out of the RV, the two of them staring at each other as they stood on the pavement.

Her gaze dropped to his lips, if there was ever a time for him to make a move and to fix every damn thing that had gone wrong, it would be now. She shallowly gasped for air, not daring to move even a single muscle, and suddenly she felt like a teenager again, standing before him, in the front yard of his parents’ house, waiting with what felt like the most fervent of desires for him to kiss her and tell her he loved her again.

He diverted his eyes, looking off to the side and clearing his throat, and she felt her spirit deflate, collapsing in on itself. She took a step back, both physically and mentally, to remind herself just what she was doing there in the first place. He had closure, hell, _she_ had closure, what use was there in chasing after teenage fantasy and high school sweethearts? There would always be doors to close, and although she could open them back up once in a while to relive a fleeting fancy, the door would ultimately have to shut once again. Just like the capsule.

“Bye, Jade. It was really good to see you again,” he said, barely audible.

“Bye, Beck. I missed you too,” she replied, reading between the gaps in his own words, her own voice coming out softer than she had expected it to.

She turned on her heel, feeling far more awkward than she had ever felt around Beck, but that was what lost time did to you, she supposed. As she walked to her car, her mind couldn’t help but wander, and all she could think about was what would’ve happened if he had just kissed her.

And then she started to ask herself why she was so content with leaving the door closed. Why she had left herself resigned to her fate because of that. Why hadn’t _she_ done it, if she was as desperate to find out as much as she was? Whatever happened to her doing things on a whim, simply because they felt right? Jade West never gave up and she wasn’t about to start now.

Bracing herself, she turned right around again, only to find him gazing right at her, as if they both knew what they were called to do next. They started moving towards each other and she picked up her pace, a yearning, lovesick desperation cracking through her bones.

When they met in the middle, she grabbed his arms, pulling him in and kissing him just like she had before. And dear _god,_ she had missed him more than she had even known. His arms wrapped around her, familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time. They were the same arms that had wrapped around her before, but changed by the time that had gone by. Her hand moved up to run itself through his hair as the other brushed against his jaw. She breathed in deeply, inhaling all the time lost to the past five years and letting it fill up her lungs, sure that she could never be sick of it.

After what felt like either two seconds or a billion years, they broke apart. Beck let out a shaky breath, resting his forehead against hers. She gave herself a moment to catch her breath before diving back in, cupping his hand in her hands, and pressing her lips to his.

“It took you long enough,” she said in a low, trembling voice.

“I didn’t think you’d want me to,” he muttered, taking her hands in his, pressing a kiss to them.

“Are you kidding me? I was waiting for you to,” she scoffed.

“Well, surely you can’t expect me to know everything, now can you?” He echoed, recalling what she had said earlier.

She groaned as she rolled her eyes, poorly fighting the smile threatening to break out on her face.

“What?” He asked feigning innocence, “your words, not mine!”

“You’re impossible,” she shook her head.

“I don’t know _what_ you could _possibly_ be talking about,” he grinned.

She pulled him in once again, mostly out of her own desire to, but partially to shut him up too.

This time, they would do it better.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was a literal demon to write, so i'm sorry if it disappointed, i tried my best :)


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